(Over the next 30 days, BERNing on Sports will be previewing every team in the majors, yes, even the Royals. Only one a day, every day, so try not to get too hooked.)
Keeping It Real
This team stinks. They've had 16 losing seasons in a row, they were last in the N.L. in starter and bullpen ERA, and as a team batted under .260 for the season. Did I say that they're not any good? The real problem is that a lot of the guys they have were (at one point) either good or supposed to be good. Ian Snell and Tom Gorzelanny (good for one year two years ago), and Zach Duke (good for half a season 4 years ago) all fit into this category. Paul Maholm pitched well last year, but given his track record of borderline mediocrity (at best), what makes you think he'll do it again? The lineup lacks punch, lacks consistency, and lacks proven ability. I'm sure I said it already, but just to make sure we're clear, I did say this team isn't good, right?
First Freddy Sanchez, Then Nate McClouth, Who Next?
Which largely middling player on the Pirates will miraculously turn around a career of irrelevance and become this year's surprise? Those of you Ronny Paulino supporters have seen time run out. Same with our pal Bryan Bullington. The logical choice would seem to be Ryan Doumit, as he seemed en route to a breakout season prior to breaking his thumb. As a dark horse, I'll throw in Andy LaRoche to the mix, if only to make things interesting. Working against him though is that he hasn't had nearly enough time to be as mediocre as Sanchez and McClouth.
There Manager Is Named John Russell
Just thought we should all know that. I didn't.
Finally, The LaRoche's Are Reunited
I can't tell you how badly I wanted this, since the moment I laid eyes on Andy. Like the brothers Benes before them, the LaRoche's are now part of a long history of brothers of mid-level talent to be united on the same team. The problem is Andy hasn't been able to hit at any point of a major league season, and Adam only hits in the second half of seasons. If we could only combine the two, we'd have one half of a whole ballplayer...
Bold Predictions
Nate McClouth's average, home run totals, and RBI totals will all head south towards there previous career norms.
Nyjer Morgan will steal 30 bases, and that's about all I have. If you care this much about the Pirates, you need to have your head examined.
Up Next...Sunday, Indians
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