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The Picks - Division Winners, Champions

Scott mentioned how the preseason predictions of post season awards is ridiculous. And while many "experts" usually have better luck with the prognostication of division winners and eventual world series champions, there is always one team that makes us all look ridiculously dumb. Tampa Bay Rays anyone? I don't think any of the players down in St. Pete would have chosen them to win the American League Pennant. On that note, check this out in six months and let us know how stupid we are....

The Divisions:
AL East:

Scott: Red Sox - I don't necessarily think they've got such a great team, and the Manny-hole in the lineup will be apparent, all season. But, injuries to the Yankees will hurt them. The Rays bullpen will falter this year, ruining a great year from the rest of the team.

Jordan: Yankees - Scott's likely being a massochist by not picking the Yanks to win the division considering they spent a kagillion dollars this off season. But this year they have what they didn't have the last couple of years, a dominant ace. C.C. you back in the playoffs, Pinstripes. And the Red Sox seemingly never win the division. Even last year Tampa Bay won the East and not Boston.

AL Central:

Scott: Twins - Young guns (Scott Baker, Kevin Slowey) and the return of Francisco Liriano, coupled with a big year from Justin Morneau put this team on top of a division lacking any front runners. The Indians and White Sox will be around all year, though.

Jordan: Indians - You could really pick a name out of a hat for this division winner, but I expect a good year from Travis Hafner and Victor Martinez (both returning from injury), and they've added stability to the back end of the bullpen with Kerry Wood.

AL West:

Scott: Mariners - Again, not a great team, but I'm expecting big things out of King Felix and Erik Bedard. On top of that, I don't think the Angels are going to be as good as they have been in year's past, due to injuries and decline.

Jordan: Athletics - I've been thinking about this for a while, and maybe I'm insane. It doesn't appear this club has any pitching. But the Angels won't be as good, we agree, and while I think the M's could compete Oakland's lineup may be good enough to eek this out.

AL Wild Card:

Scott: Yankees - Nagging injuries to Joba Chamberlain, A.J. Burnett, and Alex Rodriguez will pester the Yankees, but their depth will allow them to put together a solid season to make the playoffs, getting strong and healthy just as October rolls around.

Jordan: Red Sox - Yankees Jr. get in again. Very good pitching, good line up, and a good bullpen. They're always balanced, and they appear to be a sure fire 90+ win team.

NL East:

Scott: Phillies - Bottom line, need to see the Mets not blow it in September. Need to see it, before I can predict it.

Jordan: Mets - It would be so Philadelphia for that team to not win the NL East the year after winning it all. And, the Mets have added two closers, so things have to improve in the back end of the pen. No collapse this year.

NL Central:

Scott: Cubs - Far and away, best team in this division, no questions asked. I may have them going to far (who doesn't want to be the guy picking them to win the World Series?) in the post season, but this team is far too talented and deep not to win this division.

Jordan: Cubs - Did you think I'd pick someone else? But seriously, who is better than the Cubs in the Central? Exactly. No one. They may not win 97 this year, but even if they win just 90 that should be good enough. And Scott, take it easy with this World Series talk.

NL West:

Scott: Dodgers - Poor division will allow the Dodgers to win this one. It'll be tight, because no one's really that good, but there's one difference between the Dodgers and the rest of the division: Manny Ramirez. The Giants and Diamondbacks don't have him (or any good hitters).

Jordan: Dodgers - What Scott said.

NL Wild Card:
Scott: Reds - Edinson Volquez and Johnny Cueto are primed to put together full, dominant seasons. A young core of Phillips, Votto, and Bruce will anchor the lineup in a good hitter's park. Expect better things from Aaron Harang. Not a bad thing either to play the Brewers, Pirates and Astros a bunch of times.

Jordan: Phillies - Scott's crazy about the Reds. The Phillies may not be as good as last year, because Joe Blanton and Brett Myers will probably return to normalcy. But this team will still be the rest of the rest in the NL, which is not all that strong. Pains me to say it, but St. Louis could win this too.

The Playoffs: The Division Series:

Scott: Cubs defeat the Mets, Dodgers beat the Phillies,
Red Sox top the Mariners, Yankees over the Twins

Jordan: Cubs defeat the Phillies, Mets beat the Dodgers
Yankees over the Athletics, Indians over the Red Sox

The Playoffs: League Championship Series:

Scott: Yankees beat the Red Sox, Cubs over the Dodgers

Jordan: Mets beat the Cubs (Jordan cries), Indians beat the Yankees (Scott cries)

The Playoffs: The World Series:

Scott: Cubs over the Yankees (Jordan is elated, Scott kills Jordan)

First time for everything, right? I picked them a few years back, and I was wrong then. Who knows. Maybe it's because I don't like picking my own team, but this Cubs team seems to darn talented. (Jordan thinks this is crazy but is elated at the thought)

Jordan: Indians top Mets (neither Scott nor Jordan watches)

I've been burned too many times to pick the Cubs. That's why I'll take my boys Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa to earn the glory in October. Plus, the Indians haven't won the series in 60 years or so, and they with a very promising team, they very well might.

The Fantasy Baseball Nerd: All Breakout Team

Alright, I'll be honest, this one is basically for me, so that, at the end of the year, if any of these guys become big, or have break out (or bounce back) type seasons, I'll be able to shove it in anyone's face that I was right (once).

Before we get going, let me clarify what I term as breakout. For me, a breakout season can mean a number of things. It can mean the obvious of just coming from no where to have a huge season, a la Josh Hamilton. It can mean having a big year after many down years, like Ken Griffey Jr. in 2007. It can mean building upon previous good seasons, and putting it all together, like Derrek Lee in 2005. It can mean any of these things, and more. So, just because a guy was good last year, doesn't mean he can't have what I'm calling a breakout year this year.

As always, feel free to rip it apart in the comments.

C - Mike Napoli has already hit 46 homers in his career, 20 of which came last year. But, this year, he's going to do better. I'm talking 30 to 35 homers, better. The average won't be good, but with health and finally some full-time duties behind the plate, the burly catcher will rip it up. With that said, still don't expect much more than 80 or so RBIs.

1B - This is a tough one, because a lot of these guys have already had pretty good seasons. For instance, I'm one of many that thinks Joey Votto is going to have a big year, but it's not much of a surprise considering how well he hit last year. Another guy people have pegged is Billy Butler, who seems like he's been on lists like this for years. If he's healthy, the kid can hit, no doubt. He doesn't have a position, and seems to have more doubles-type power than homer-type power, but I think we'd all be happy with 20 and 100 from Billy B.

2B - A guy a lot of people are mentioning is Aaron Hill, but he already had what I'd call his breakout year two years ago. No, my guy is the speedster Alexi Casilla. Think Luis Castillo, but a better hitter. Way better. And, steals will come for Casilla. He only swiped 7 last year, but in the minors he averaged over 30 steals a season.

SS - Consider this my first divergence from the rules I set up above. Troy Tulowitzki already had his big year, two years ago. But, people seem to have forgotten about him on draft day this year. The guy was injured last year, never got it going, but he hasn't lost his stroke. Not to mention, he'll still be playing his home games at Coors Field, and with Matt Holliday gone, the Rocks will be counting on him to help fill in.

3B - Another guy that's on these lists a lot is Alex Gordon. I've heard that he's starting to try to go the other way more, not pull everything he sees. Which, is all well and good, but I need to see him hit well for more than a two week period before I endorse him. My guy here is another one that isn't really going to "break out". Ryan Zimmerman has had a few good years in his career, but like Tulowitzki, has completely fallen off people's radars. Zim can hit and now that he's healthy (not to mention, with Dunn in the lineup) he should resume his 25/110-type seasons.

OF - Adam Jones will steal at least 25 bases, David DeJesus could drive in over 90 runs batting in the 3-hole this year (if Bengie Molina can do it from the cleanup spot...), Coco Crisp with more playing time and no media to harass him should return to pre-Boston stats, once B.J. Upton returns on the 13th, he will tear it up (think power of 2007, speed of 2008), and not too far form 20/25 last year, Lastings Milledge will do big things from the leadoff spot for the Nats. I wouldn't sleep on Elijah Dukes either, who, if he keeps himself on the field, would be hard pressed not to go at least 20/20.

SP - They say the second year after Tommy John surgery is when you see a return to form, expect that from Francisco Liriano. He won 15 games last year, but Ricky Nolasco's ceiling is somewhere in the atmosphere. Matt Cain has only won 15 games the last two years while pitching to solid ERAs both times. I wouldn't expect his luck to be so poor for a third straight year. Figure between 12 and 16 wins. Another guy that's shown a ton of promise is Johnny Cueto, who I'd expect more consistency out of in his second full year. Bounce back year for Fausto Carmona, that heavy sinker is too good to ignore.

Again, I'm leaving off relievers because they're just too damn flimsy.

So, there you have it, my picks for guys to have break out or bust out or big or unexpected or kind of expected years. Agree, disagree, or simply ignore. You're choice. But, I'll still say I told ya so.

The Picks - Post Season Award Talk

Arguably, the most ridiculous of all of the pre-season predictions are the awards. Which player will be the most valuable to his (or her) team? Which pitcher will have the best season? How about best rookie? The questions themselves seem simple enough, but when asked before a pitch has been thrown, they're a bit silly.

But, nonetheless, it's tradition. Before every baseball season, even if it's only in your own head, you have to think of some predictions, even if that only means picking your Silver Sluggers (and if that's your thing, more power to you...get it, more power to you. bah dumpt, chhhh). And so, Jordan and I have berned long and hard over these, stewing and brewing over predictions that will more than likely fall by the wayside due to injury or incompetence (on either the players' or our parts).

So, without further ado, the 2009 Berning On Sports Pre Season Award picks...

AL Rookie of the Year:

Jordan: Matt Wieters, BAL

Assuming he plays most of the season, this guy is bound for stardom. I expect once he comes up in May he'll hit near .300 and hit 15-20 home runs while making a big impact on the Orioles both offensively and defensively.

Scott: Same, BAL

I don't really know many other rookies. He's supposed to be good.

NL Rookie of the Year:

Jordan: Colby Rasmus, STL

This guy has been in the minors longer than the Cardinals wanted him there because of an already crowded outfield. Assuming he'll get plenty of at-bats this season, he'll do well because he plays for St. Louis and if you play for them, you hit, no matter what your name is.

Scott: Come on. My only other guess, Daniel Murphy, NYM. He'll bat second, and they say the kid can really rake, so long as his lack of a real position doesn't kill the Mets too bad.

AL Cy Young Award: J

Jordan: Jon Lester, BOS

He's an excellent pitcher primed for a huge year. With the benefit of a winning club that has a great offense, he'll win a lot of games, and statistically he's as good as anyone.

Scott: Roy Halladay, TOR

I love the pick of Lester, and while I'd love to echo Jordan's sentiment's a third time, I'm going to stay in the division, but head further north. The only thing holding him back is that he might not get enough wins playing for such a poor team, but his stuff and track record show nothing other than greatness and no signs of slowing.

NL Cy Young Award:

Jordan: Jake Peavy, SD

This one is harder because there are so many dynamite pitchers in the National League. But the 2007 Cy Young is going to be pitching with the extra motivation of wanting to be traded from San Diego so he'll have a huge year. The only way he doesn't get consideration is if he doesn't win enough games because his offense is so bad.

Scott: Johan Santana, NYM

This might seem like a pick made based on the fact that I live in his area, but he'd have likely won it if the Mets had any semblance of a bullpen at any point last season. He won 16 games with a league leading ERA last year, and now he has Frankie Rodriguez and J.J. Putz to lock down a few more W's for the resume.

AL Most Valuable Player:

Jordan: Mark Teixeira, NYY

The MVP almost always comes from one of the best teams that is playoff bound. Big Tex is a fantastic player as it is, but now he'll be the focal point of an already excellent offense since A-Rod will begin the season on the DL.

Scott: Justin Morneau, MIN

With Joe Mauer out of the lineup for a chunk of time, the Twins will count on the Canadian to pick up the slack, and he will. He might not slug you to death, but Morneau will carry the Twins all the way to a division title.

NL Most Valuable Player:

Jordan: Manny Ramirez, LAD

He's playing his first full season in the National League, which he destroyed last year. I understand it was in a contract year, but the guy mashes no matter where he is. The Dodgers will likely be NL West champs again, and Manny will be credited with leading them there.

Scott: Albert Pujols, STL

This is a give-up pick, but here's how I look at it: the guy's always great (which, I know can work against him for this award, a la Kobe Bryant or even Shaq), and no one on the Cubs stands out to me as a guy that would clearly deserve an MVP award. So, Pujols it is, if even by default. Again.

Jamaal Tinsley: Where Have You Gone

It seems like it was only yesterday, my shaved headed, balding, questionably overweight point guarded friend, that you were turning the ball over at a rapid rate on a nightly basis.

Alas, you've been out of the media spotlight, or any spotlight for that matter, for quite some time now. Where are you, I wonder, as this 2009 NBA season comes to a close without so much of single glimpse of the former Cyclone.

Jamaal "Mel Mel The Abuser" Tinsley had it rough, right from jump street of his NBA career. In what would turn out to be a ill portent of things to come in his career, he was drafted near the bottom of the first round in 2001 to the Vancouver Grizzlies. Almost immediately, no one wanted him. On draft night, he was shipped to Atlanta, and from there, to Indiana. Three cities, one night.

"It was rough, no doubt," Tinsley said, reflecting on his early career. "I mean, I'd never been to Vancouver before, so when I heard that they had picked me, I was like, f**k that. Then, Atlanta woulda been aight, I mean, I hear there's a lot of black people there. But, damn, Indiana? How many black people are there?"

Unfortunately, a few too many, to the detriment of Tinsley's career, as it would turn out. If Anthony Johnson and Kenny Anderson hadn't been playing for the Pacers a few years into his career, Tinsley might have kept his starting job. It was not to be.

From that point forward, erratic play, weight issues, and other attitude related issues have plagued the Rucker Park-made point guard.

"Yeah, it was a struggle," Tinsley admitted. "There were times, no question, when I thought, hell with it, I'm gonna go back and play ball at the Rucker again. Forget this whole NBA thing. But then, I thought, nah, f**k that."

Only three times has he played over 70 games in a season. Only three times has he averaged over 10 points a game.

But, throughout his short career, he has turned the ball over at a phenomenal rate, and coupled with a sagging shooting percentage, few, including Tinsley himself, could figure out why he was treated so poorly this year.

"Basically, they were like, we ain't gonna need you for practice tomorrow. So I'm like, cool, day off. I'll see you tomorrow then? And they're like, nah, not then either. So I'm thinking, wow, four day weekend! But then, they were like, nah, it's not like that. We're just not gonna need you for anything. At all. Any more."

Suffice to say, he was stunned, and how could you blame him? He had played 39 full games the previous season, and managed to shoot under 40% for a second consecutive year.

"You know how hard it is to shoot that bad? I mean, everytime down, I'm thinking, what's the worst possible shot I can take, the worst decision I can make to derail my team's chances of scoring? Maybe a no-look? How about some wrap-around s**t? Or one of them pull-up, fadeaway joints? Point is, it ain't easy being as unreliable as I was."

Effectively, the Pacers put Jamaal Tinsley in timeout. For the rest of the year. He has been sent home, his name removed from the locker room, his memory erased from the minds of millions. His grievance case will likely be heard in the coming months, but, at this point, who really cares?

"I have to be honest, I'm kind of getting used to this whole getting paid for doin' nothing thing. It's kinda hot," a relaxed Tinsley said, sipping a Dunkachino outside his home earlier this week.

And so for now, dear friends, the question isn't, "where have you gone, Jamaal Tinsley?" but, more appropriately, "why did you not go there sooner?"

Reminder: BERNINGONSPORTS.com Coming Monday!

This Monday our new Internet home will be berningonsports.com. There will be new content, features, and an easier way to access podcasts and recent posts.

Make our first day a special one, by visiting the site and checking out all the new things that will be part of it, including the "Procrastinate" page where you'll do just that, procrastinate, from whatever else you should be doing.

Once again, starting Monday, this will no longer be our blog site. It will be berningonsports.com! Thanks for reading, and for your continued support.

Have You Seen This Yet?

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but I suppose these guys are all good sports.

30 Teams In 30 Days

Colorado Rockies: Ode To The Humidor
(Over the next 30 days, BERNing on Sports will be previewing every team in the Majors, yes, even the Royals. Only one a day, every day, so try not to get too hooked. Except this is the last day, so maybe this message no longer applies. Yes, actually, it no longer applies. But I'm leaving it up here anyways.)

This Team Won the Pennant Two Years Ago
Remember that? The Rockies won their first and only National League pennant back in 2007, when they got wildly hot in September and early October to run all the way to the World Series. Of course, they lost to Boston in the Fall Classic, but at the time I was impressed with this team. I thought they were finally building a team that could win in that ball park, especially now that the humidor was "de-juicing" the baseballs and they had a lot of young and talented pitchers. Whoops! Last year sent Colorado back to irrelevance, as they finished 14 games below the .500 mark and they dealt with regression from players like Troy Tulowitzki (more on that later). If they want to be relevant again this year, they'll need their pitching staff to rebound, and for Tulowitzki to return to his excellent form of 2007. Otherwise, it's status quo in the Mile High city.

What The Hell Happened, Jeff Francis?
I would really like an answer, yet I know you won't be able to give it to me this year since you tore your labrum and will be out for the 2009 season. I thought you were good. I thought you'd be a star in this league that could buck the trend of pitchers faltering at Coors Field and you could anchor a pitching staff that would contend in the NL West for years to come. Yet last year you went 4-10 with a 5.01 ERA and were largely ineffective for the entire season. Maybe you can still be a great starter in the future and last year can be chalked up to your shoulder injury. I hope you get healthy, and I hope we have a chance to see what you can really be. Your franchise needs your arm, because while Aaron Cook was an all-star last year, the rest of that rotation could really use some help.

Buy Bleacher Tickets For Games When Jason Marquis Is Pitching
According to the Rockies website, to sit out in the outfield at Coors Field will only cost you no more than $15 dollars per ticket this season. So, Denver residents, if you want a good time, and a potential souvenir, go to the game when Jason Marquis is on the bump. It's incredibly affordable, and with this guy pitching in the think Rocky Mountain air, it's almost a certainty that once or twice a game the opposition will homer into your section, no matter where you sit in the outfield. Marquis was acquired by Colorado from the Cubs for Luis Vizcaino as a salary dump. And Marquis figures to only be in Denver one year, so if you want a home run ball you'll need to go to Coors this year. He seems like a nice guy, but he gives up a ton of home runs. He's allowed 167 home runs in his career in 198 career starts, and in a ballpark where the ball flies this could be a potential disaster.

Troy Tulowitzki Must Be the Face of This Franchise
When he burst onto the scene as a fantastic rookie in 2007, the Rockies had the best season in their franchise's history. "Tulo" not only played great on the field, but he embodied the spirit of what we thought was the start of something great on Blake Street. With last season's down year, he'll need to pick up the production to help carry this line up. Matt Holliday now plays for Oakland, and Todd Helton is old, so the youth in this group will have to perform. Guys like Garrett Atkins, who's a budding star, along with Chris Ianetta and Brad Hawpe will be counted upon to keep the Mile High City rocking, but it's Tulowitzki who has that David Wright/Derek Jeter like image if he's healthy that will keep the Rockies in the news.

Bold Predictions

1. Colorado will finish this season above .500, even with the pitching issues they have. Ubaldo Jimenez and Aaron Cook will be enough for this team to win maybe 84 games.
2. My boy Tulowitzki will return to form, and hit close to .300, with 20 homers and drive in 100.
3. Huston Street will save 30 games this year, and him and Manny Corpas will provide the Rockies with a nice 8th and 9th inning combo.

Up next....Post Season Awards...Playoff Picks

30 Teams in 30 Days

San Francisco Giants: If They Only Had One Major League Quality Hitter...

(Over the next 30 days, BERNing on Sports will be previewing every team in the Majors, yes, even the Royals. Only one a day, every day, so try not to get too hooked)

Keeping It Real

This team's lineup is so f**cking bad, it's not even funny. Well, maybe a little funny. Though, to be honest, it was funnier a few years ago, when it looked like something out of Ken Griffey baseball game. Now, it's just sad. Why this team refused to go out and get a hitter, either via free agency or trading on of their million quality starting pitchers, I have no idea. I mean, come on already. Bengie Molina as the cleanup hitter? If this is Brian Sabean's idea of a joke, he really has one twisted sense of humor. The rest of the lineup (if it's possible) only gets less intimidating. The staff, as was the case with the D-backs as Eddie pointed out, is the only reason this team will remain competitive. Tim Lincecum is obviously legit, Matt Cain doesn't win too much (but who would when your team refuses to score for you) but he's pretty good, and Randy Johnson may still be a miserable SOB, but he should be OK in the Bay. Actually, as bad as the Diamondback's lineup is, consider that it scored 80 runs more than the Giants. Yes, the G-men are that bad.

Not One Offensive Player Remotely Scares Me

Aaron Rowand has had two seasons where he was a powerful hitter. Outside of that, nothing much. Then again, that's more than Mr. September, Pablo Sandoval, can say and he's scheduled to bat third. Randy Winn's rarely been a bad player, but, nothing worth worrying over. Same goes for Edgar Renteria, especially at this point in his career. You could go on and on. The problem is, there's no real big hitting prospect on this team. Matt Wieters ain't walking through that door, folks. So, for now, the Giants will have to hope that scoring under 4 runs a game will be good enough.

I'm Sorry, But One More Note Regarding How Poor Hitting Is In This Division

Four of the five teams in the division (damn you Colorado!) ranked in the bottom 11 in the league as far as runs scored is concerned. The only team to score fewer runs than the Giants? The Padres. Only a few spots above the Giants? The Dodgers. Go and get some hitters! These other divisions seem to have a bunch of them. Figure a way to get them to your division.

Beach Boys

If this Brian Wilson switched with this Brian Wilson, but put up similar numbers, would anyone outside of San Francisco even notice the difference. I mean, how many of you would be able to identify this Brian Wilson if he walked into the room you're in right now?

What Will Tiny Tim Do For An Encore?

So much for not being tall enough, not being big enough, having to funky of a delivery. Tim Lincecum lit it up all year last year, leading the NL in K's, while coming in the top 3 in wins, innings pitched, and ERA. His acting might not be Oscar-worthy, and his game may be downright terrible (go and get The Show if you're in the market for a baseball video game), but the 2009 Cy Young winner seems like he's the real thing. Not that anyone in the Bay Area is really surprised by this, but the question now is, what can he do to top it? Probably not a lot, and you'd have to expect his win total to shrink, if only because the law of averages says that such a terrible offense will wind up letting you down more often than not.

Bold Predictions

Matt Cain, not Tim Lincecum, will lead the Giants in wins this year.

Emmanuel Burriss, now officially the 2B for the Giants, will steal at least 35 bases this year.

For the second year in a row, not one Giant will hit 20 or more home runs. Last guys to do it? Pete Happy and Barry Bonds in 2007.

Bears Land Cutler

Jay Cutler has finally been traded. And the Windy City is Cutler's new home.

From Chicago Sun-Times Reporter Mike Mulligan:

"The Bears acquired quarterback Jay Cutler today for No. 1 draft picks in 2009 and 2010, a No. 3 pick this year and Kyle Orton, the Sun-Times has learned. The Bears receive the Broncos' fifth-round draft pick this year.

Cutler, 25, is coming off a Pro Bowl season with the Broncos, but he became disgruntled and wanted a trade after learning Denver was considering a deal for quarterback Matt Cassel."

This is a shocking move considering the history of the Bears organization. They never trade for big named players, and more specifically they never go after talented quarterbacks. Now they have both. You know I'm a Bears fan, so I'm thrilled to see this. But still, a shocking development.

Finally, a quarterback for the Bears, for the first time since Sid Luckman.

Calipari Is Impressive

John Calipari was introduced yesterday as the head coach at Kentucky. He's obviously an impressive coach, as he's taken both UMass and Memphis to the National Championship.

What I realized though watching his press conference is he's also a very impressive person. Watch the press conference, and feel free to comment if you feel the same way.





I have been to many press conferences in my time covering sports. The only other press conferences that gave me the same feeling were seeing Tim Brewster, the University of Minnesota football coach at Big Ten Media Day in 2007, and also Jim Tressel, the head football coach at Ohio State that same day.

Add Calipari to the list. What an impressive guy. I hope he does well at UK.

Is There Anything More Boring Than When Your Team Takes An Offensive Lineman In the First Round?

Since ESPN's favorite sport is football, I've been hearing a lot of draft discussion lately.  Granted, I'm not a NFL Draft fan.  I actually think it is one of the most boring television events, period.

But since there's so much hype about it, and I'm always watching sports, I become inherently interested in what happens to some degree.

Then again, is there anything more boring than when your team drafts an offensive lineman in the first round?  Especially when you've already waited two and a half hours just to get to your pick at number ten.  Listen, I understand the importance of a good line, and I realize that no football team can be successful without those guys.

But offensive lineman are in a position in football that unless you're one of the Mark Schlereth's of the world, it's hard to track their progress.

Sure, you can watch them, and the average fan can figure out if the guy is letting up a bunch of sacks.  But if he's not, how else do you measure whether he's good, pancake blocks?

The offensive line is the most disguised part of a football team.  When they're doing well, you don't notice them.  When they're not, you might notice them.  Thus, it makes their jobs the least exciting of any other team in the NFL.  

So if my team is drafting a Jason Smith out of Baylor this year, or a Jake Long last year, or any of these other guys, don't expect me to be excited.  Could those players ultimately help my football team?  Absolutely.  But it's not fun to project the future for a guy who's going to be blocking the rest of his career.

With a receiver, a quarterback, or a running back, you can watch old highlights of them on YouTube and start to dream about how they would fit into your offense.  Same thing with any great defensive player.

Yet you can't turn on a game of Madden so you can play as your team's newest offensive lineman.  And if you could, how boring would that be?

April Fool's Day

Where exactly this "holiday" came from, I have no flipping clue. It's hopelessly stupid, and every year, without fail, I'll come across someone that tries to pull some sort of poorly conceived prank or joke.

Now, I know that the first of April isn't much to celebrate, but, in honor of the big day, I present to you a few things in the sports world that, if you heard them, you would almost certainly be waiting for a loud, "APRIL FOOLS!"

New York Yankees Front Office: In light of the recent economic downturn, we've decided to scale back ticket prices. Tickets that originally cost nearly $2600 will now cost approximately $100 dollars. In fact, even when the economy rebounds, these more realistic prices will remain.

Gary Sheffield: All I want is for the team to get better. If that means me losing at-bats so that some of the young guys on this team can develop, I'm all for it. Honestly, I don't care if I ever get to 500 home runs. Winning comes first for me.

Barry Bonds: Alright, alright. You caught me. I did it. I took steroids. Phew, that feels like a load off, you know? Why I thought this whole aloof, tough guy thing would play well in the media, I have no idea. Can I just get back to playing the game I love so much now?

Gary Bettman: We really don't feel as if the strike hurt our league that much. In fact, we think we've come back stronger. More people that watch Versus on a nightly basis watch our sport than any other sport.

Shaquille O'Neal: From now on, I promise not to make mountains out of molehills, flop, or do anything else to stir the pot unnecessarily to bring my name back into the headlines. I will simply let the fact that I'm still playing at a high level (actually, true) speak for itself, and hope that does enough.

Albert Haynesworth: Yes, 100 million dollars for a defensive tackle is a bit steep. OK, it's down right ridiculous. Especially when you consider I've only really tried hard the last two years.

Jay Cutler: Josh, my bad. I've acted a little immature. Truth is, I can kind of understand the idea of wanting Matt Cassel instead of me. No big deal. I'll be there in a little bit.

LeBron James: I don't know what New York is getting so excited for, I'm actually going to go and play in Europe when my contract's up. Poland's where it's at, y'all!

David Stern: We truly believe that this year, it's anyone's game. Sure, the Celtics and Lakers are playing well, but it's not like we're rooting for them to make the Finals or anything.

Any Cubs Player In The Last 100 Years: No, the pressure never gets to us. Just bad luck and bad circumstances. We don't really buy into the whole "curse" thing.

The list of these is potentially endless. Any others in mind?

30 Teams In 30 Days

Arizona Diamondbacks: If Only This Team Could Hit

(Over the next 30 days, BERNing on Sports will be previewing every team in the Majors, yes, even the Royals. Only one a day, every day, so try not to get too hooked)

The Starting Staff Is Great...

Brandon Webb, Dan Haren, Jon Garland. 'Nuff said. But since this is a preview and you'd like to see more than names, allow me to explain. Webb didn't win the Cy Young last year but was a serious candidate all season. He won 20 games for a team that barely scored 20 runs all season, and consistently has an ERA below 3.50. For three consecutive years he's had an ERA at or below 3.30, and he has won at least 16 games per season during that stretch. Haren has finally developed over the last two years, winning at least 15 games a year during that span and has posted strikeout totals near or above 200. And Garland? After bursting onto the scene in 2005 as an integral part of the White Sox world series win in 2005, his numbers have dipped a bit, as his ERA has been above 4 each of the last three years. But he's a pretty good option as a third starter. Doug Davis and Yusmeiro Petit figure to finish this rotation, which is pretty good for Arizona, especially when you consider Davis was the number two starter for the 2007 outfit in the post season. This rotation is deep, and potentially excellent. It's the only thing keeping Arizona from being a complete and utter disaster.

...But The Starting Lineup Stinks

It really is terrible. I invite you to check out this depth chart on Yahoo! Sports and give me one name that you would want in your team's offense. If you can't find one, I don't blame you. Do they have some potentially good young talent? Sure. Chris Young is a potential star, if only for the reason that he's speedy and can rip home runs from the top of the lineup. The problem is he doesn't hit for a high enough average nor does he have the on base percentage to warrant hitting at the top of the card. Justin Upton could end up being an excellent player (more on this shortly) but he's not there yet, and Mark Reynolds is a strikeout machine (fanned 204 times last year) even though he can put up good power numbers. Connor Jackson doesn't put up the power numbers to be an effective first base option in the major leagues even though he's a nice hitter. And as far as Steven Drew is considered, I like him, but he's not a player that can carry the offense. This offense is an elephant-sized Achilles heal for Arizona.

Why Justin Upton May Be The Better Upton

Scott has been enamored with Justin's older brother B.J. ever since he was drafted. He loves B.J., and last year's playoff power explosion for him will have Scott and others projecting magical seasons from Justin's older bro. Yet I think Justin will be a better player. He's only played 151 major league games, but he has already belted 17 career home runs. Not a huge total, sure. But he's got speed, he's got the defensive prowess of his brother, and he'll have better home run power. He's basically B.J. with more power and while he won't put up 50 steals in a year, Justin will be the better all around guy. The rivalry of Upton brothers has started here on BERNing.

Eric Byrnes Should Stick to Being Jeanne Zelasko's Side Kick

He really should. He's a nice player who hustles and makes a great diving catch a few times a year. He put together a couple of statistically solid seasons in 2006 and 2007. But he was a really good television sidekick for Jeanne Zelasko on FOX's baseball coverage while injured or while the D'Backs were out of the playoffs the last couple years. And since he's really not all that great as a ballplayer, why not just start the new career now? Plus, Byrnes long flowing locks are the male hairstyle version of Zelasko's monster hairdo anyways.

Chad Qualls Is This Team's Closer

I don't think I need to spend time explaining what an atrocity this is. Bob Melvin better hope his starters set a modern day record for complete games. Because while Qualls has served as a mediocre middle reliever for years, he does not have closer stuff.

Bold Predictions

While I did spend the first paragraph of this post praising the D'Backs pitching staff, it's hard to consistently pitch well when the offense isn't going to score a lot of runs. It ranked in the bottom half of the National League last year and if it doesn't improve the starters won't be so effective. That's why I think the starting staff will struggle this year.

Justin Upton will hit above .270 and will hit 20 homers and drive in 80. Long live the little bro!

And, the Diamondbacks will finish 3rd in the NL West, behind the Dodgers AND the Rockies.

Up next...Thursday, Giants.

Aren't You Supposed To Be Injured?

This photo was taken Saturday of injured Lakers center Andrew Bynum who was in attendance at a Playboy Mansion party.  Here he is seen doing squats to help rebuild strength in his knees.

Hump Day Headlines

In this April Fool's Edition of Hump Day Headlines, no fooling anyone in the AP All American Picks, the Broncos have finally decided to trade Jay Cutler, coaches not named John Calipari get new deals, and how far did the Notre Dame basketball program fall in just one year...

• The AP First Team All-American team was announced yesterday, and all five picks seem obvious to me. Oklahoma's Blake Griffin was a unanimous pick (shocker!), while North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough, Davidson's Stephen Curry, Pittburgh's DeJuan Blair, and Arizona State's James Harden rounded out the rest of the first team. All five players are obviously deserving, and they show that while the college game has lost some great players to the NBA, there are still some fantastic players at the top in college basketball. How good these guys will be at the next level? It's hard to say. Blake Griffin will probably be the top pick in the draft, and figures to be an impact player right away. Scott was clearly not impressed with James Harden. Tyler Hansbrough's draft status is unclear, Steph Curry may or may not go pro this year (and if he does, is he the next J.J. Redick?) and DeJuan Blair might be too short to be an impact player as a back to the basket 6'7" forward. Whether they're good or not though at the professional level, let's enjoy the fact we got to watch these guys be great college hoopsters. As an avid college hoops fan, I enjoyed watching all of them.
• The Denver Broncos soap opera released its latest episode today: the news that they will in fact deal their star quarterback somewhere. Jay Cutler will be on the move, and it appears that there are at least six teams that will be involved in some capacity to try and acquire the Pro Bowler's services. The Jets, Buccaneers, Bears, Lions, 49ers and Browns are all apparently interested, and the Jaguars "may" be interested. (You know who I'm rooting for in that sweepstakes.) There are also reports circulating that the Redskins might be interested even though they have Jason Campbell. Before you start complaining that this story is getting annoying, let me remind you one simple fact: at least we're not talking about T.O. or the Cowboys.
• Missouri Head Coach Mike Anderson was awarded with a new seven year contract worth between 1.3 and 1.5 million dollars per year. This comes after he impressively took the Tigers to the Elite Eight this season. The former UAB head man has shown why he always had the Blazers competing down there and now at a bigger school his coaching efforts have realized their potential. Good for him. Another coach rewarded for his success was former Washington State head coach Tony Bennett, who has moved on to the ACC and the University of Virginia. Bennett will be paid $1.7 million annually after he lead Wazzu to a 68-30 record in three seasons out west. People need to start getting used to the fact that the football and basketball coaches are now the highest paid people at many Division I Universities.
• Finally, remember when Notre Dame was a top ten team at the beginning of this college basketball season? This must seem like eons ago, because the Fighting Irish finished off a highly disappointing season by losing in the NIT Semifinals to Penn State. Notre Dame finished just 21-15, and Mike Brey must be searching for answers after he had second team all-American Luke Harangody (overrated, but still) Kyle McAlarney, Ryan Ayers and Tory Jackson on that team. Far too much talent to finish the way they did. Maybe Mr. Mock-Turtle himself should be considered for the hot seat? What a horrific year for Notre Dame sports teams. First more mediocrity from Chuck Weis, now this.