April Fool's Day

Where exactly this "holiday" came from, I have no flipping clue. It's hopelessly stupid, and every year, without fail, I'll come across someone that tries to pull some sort of poorly conceived prank or joke.

Now, I know that the first of April isn't much to celebrate, but, in honor of the big day, I present to you a few things in the sports world that, if you heard them, you would almost certainly be waiting for a loud, "APRIL FOOLS!"

New York Yankees Front Office: In light of the recent economic downturn, we've decided to scale back ticket prices. Tickets that originally cost nearly $2600 will now cost approximately $100 dollars. In fact, even when the economy rebounds, these more realistic prices will remain.

Gary Sheffield: All I want is for the team to get better. If that means me losing at-bats so that some of the young guys on this team can develop, I'm all for it. Honestly, I don't care if I ever get to 500 home runs. Winning comes first for me.

Barry Bonds: Alright, alright. You caught me. I did it. I took steroids. Phew, that feels like a load off, you know? Why I thought this whole aloof, tough guy thing would play well in the media, I have no idea. Can I just get back to playing the game I love so much now?

Gary Bettman: We really don't feel as if the strike hurt our league that much. In fact, we think we've come back stronger. More people that watch Versus on a nightly basis watch our sport than any other sport.

Shaquille O'Neal: From now on, I promise not to make mountains out of molehills, flop, or do anything else to stir the pot unnecessarily to bring my name back into the headlines. I will simply let the fact that I'm still playing at a high level (actually, true) speak for itself, and hope that does enough.

Albert Haynesworth: Yes, 100 million dollars for a defensive tackle is a bit steep. OK, it's down right ridiculous. Especially when you consider I've only really tried hard the last two years.

Jay Cutler: Josh, my bad. I've acted a little immature. Truth is, I can kind of understand the idea of wanting Matt Cassel instead of me. No big deal. I'll be there in a little bit.

LeBron James: I don't know what New York is getting so excited for, I'm actually going to go and play in Europe when my contract's up. Poland's where it's at, y'all!

David Stern: We truly believe that this year, it's anyone's game. Sure, the Celtics and Lakers are playing well, but it's not like we're rooting for them to make the Finals or anything.

Any Cubs Player In The Last 100 Years: No, the pressure never gets to us. Just bad luck and bad circumstances. We don't really buy into the whole "curse" thing.

The list of these is potentially endless. Any others in mind?

I Thought This Was Over...

...But instead, it's not.  It appears Barry Bonds won't be heading to jail, or anywhere for that matter for quite a while.  His perjury trial has been delayed indefinitely.

Why?  The government has appealed pretrial rulings by Judge Susan Illston that the failed drug tests, doping calendar and doping ledgers obtained cannot be used as evidence.  The prosecution feels it cannot make its case without the use of the tests.  But since the Judge won't allow it, they're better off with a delayed trial than begin one they can't win.

The truth is, we all know that Bonds is guilty, whether it is proven in court or not.  The fact that this evidence exists means he's guilty no matter what he says in front of a court of law.  The only people who could possibly believe Barry's innocent are the people paid to say so.  

"Barry Bonds is innocent,"  his attorneys said in joint statement.  "Rather than present the evidence to an impartial judge and jury, the government has chosen to appeal Judge Illston's correct and well-reasoned order.  Instead of a trial, the government wants to prolong its six-year obsession with Barry.  It's unfair to him, to the taxpayers, and to the judicial process.  The government's strategy of delay shows what little confidence they have in their own case."

This is what we're dealing with.  Idiotic lawyers for Bonds that are trying to defend an indefensible case.  There is one thing I do agree with in that statement though.  It is unfair to the taxpayers that their money has to be used to charge Bonds when we all know he's guilty as it is.  That's not what these lawyers were trying to say, but we all know that's the truth.

It's annoying that this trial is delayed, because we thought we finally would have this guy put in the slammer.  He could have joined Greg Anderson, who is so disgustingly loyal to Barry that he's willing to stay behind bars instead of testify against him.

The whole situation is a mess.  It could have been over.  We could have had closure.  Instead, we'll have to wait some more.

Hump Day Headlines: Afternoon Edition

In this week's Hump Day Headlines, we discuss Barry Bonds' latest mess, Michael Phelps potential criminal charges, David Beckham's failed soccer experiment, and LeBron reaches 12,000 points...

• As we have mentioned in past Hump Day Headlines, we've been waiting a while for the day to come when Barry Bonds would finally get nailed for cheating his way to baseball's all-time home run crown.  Despite everyone's best efforts to discredit the hundreds of pages filled with evidence damning Bonds in Lance Williams and Mark Fainaru-Wada's Game of Shadows, and the fact that not enough has been made of the fact that Bonds has already admitted to steroid use but says "he didn't knowingly take them", we now know that the proof is in the pudding, or urine sample.  The Federal Government has decided to unseal evidence against the slugger that includes multiple positive drug tests.  Bonds attorneys will try yet again to discredit these drug tests, which date back to 2003, but how a jury could actually be convinced that Bonds didn't know that he was taking steroids yet was consistently failing drug tests would really be a miracle.  Then again, O.J. somehow got away free.
• Now that Michael Phelps had been caught in a photo smoking marijuana from a pipe at the University of South Carolina, he could face criminal charges for his actions.  The Richland County Sheriff's department is investigating the situation, and apparently has a very tough stance on drugs (then again, who doesn't?).  The photo was revealed in "News of the World" a British tabloid, and can also be seen right here on this very site, courtesy of Scott's recent post.  Unlike Scott, I don't think you can give Phelps a pass for this act despite the fact that he's 23.  I'm 23, and Scott is 22, and if either of us were caught smoking pot we'd get into trouble.  Granted, many could chalk it up to us being young and dumb, and for that opinion those people would be right.  But neither of us is making monopoly money for endorsements with countless companies or is expected to be a role model for kids across the globe.  Phelps is a moron for rolling the dice with his reputation, especially after he had already been picked up for an under-age D.U.I.  I say Phelps deserves whatever prosecution he gets, and it's a shame he would be so dumb.  I guess he's not the wholesome kid we all hoped he might be.
• Remember when David Beckham came to the U.S. to play soccer for the Los Angeles Galaxy as a way to popularize the world's game in this country?  That experiment surely failed.  He's barely through two years of a 5-year, 32.5 million dollar contract that was going to pay him far more cash in endorsements, and he's trying to get out of his deal to remain with Italy's A.C. Milan, the team he has been playing with for the last month and a half.  His lawyers are currently talking with the Galaxy to see if he can get out of his deal.  So basically, David Beckham's career in the states was short, filled with injury, and unimportant.  It was a novelty at the beginning, but fizzled quickly, like when Katie Couric got the CBS News job and people tuned in for the first week and then went back to their regular destinations.  That ends the argument that soccer could ever be popular in America.  If David Beckham can't do it, no one can.
• With his 33 points in last night's 101-83 win over the Raptors, Cavaliers forward LeBron James has eclipsed the 12,000 point mark for his career.  He is the fastest player ever to reach that scoring total, faster than Michael and faster than Kobe.  At 24 years, 35 days old, he passed Kobe who reached 12,000 at 25 years, 220 days old.  Said Cavs coach Mike Brown, "He's still going to get better, that's the scary thing."  There's an understatement.  The way LeBron is going, there's no telling what kind of statistics he can amass as his career moves along, and he could finish with the best statistics of any player in NBA history.  But until he wins a bunch of titles, and makes his team a champion around him, he'll never get to where every new NBA star has to get to, and that of course is Michael's standard. 

The Biggest Story of Baseball's Spring Training? Not the WBC...

When March 2nd rolls around, the most fascinating story in baseball will not be the World Baseball Classic.

Nor will it be your favorite baseball team training in Florida or Arizona.  Nor will it be where big named free agents like Manny Ramirez will sign.  

It will be Barry Bonds' perjury trial.  And if that's not intriguing enough for you, ex-teammate Bobby Estalella (and admitted steroid user) will reportedly testify against him in the proceedings.

I'm not a Court TV guy, although I did watch the Illinois State Senate impeach Governor Rod Blagojevich Thursday afternoon.  But this will be great television.  

Finally we'll see that scum bag Bonds get what he deserves.  He'll go to jail for cheating and lying.  We can finally put the famed asterisk next to his home run record of 762.  We can go back to calling Hank Aaron's 755 blasts the real career home run mark.  

Court proceedings are slow, so it's not like we weren't going to eventually see this trial come for the fairly unpopular slugger.  But it is long enough after Bonds retired, er, didn't have a choice but not to play since no team risked signing him in 2008, that we finally need some closure.  As a diehard baseball fan my entire life, seeing Bonds hit blast number 756 off Washington's Mike Bascik was one of the more unnerving moments I have had as a fan.  

Hopefully, soon after the March 2nd trial begins, we can finally put an end to Barry Bonds' records in baseball.

It's sad really.  The guy was one of the most tremendously talented baseball players I've ever seen.  As someone in my early twenties, there are few players I have ever watched that I marveled at as much as Bonds.  On his own merit, prior to his run with steroids, he was a good enough player by a long shot to earn a ticket to Cooperstown.  His career statistics look like those of a video game slugger that you've simulated ten seasons with.  They're insane.

But he was always a bad guy.  He was never a likable player you could rally behind.  Even when he was breaking records, he never had the adoration (except for in San Francisco) that Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa had in their magical (albeit steroid induced) home run race in 1998.  His accomplishments later in his career left a sour taste in the mouths of baseball fans across the globe.

So I'm ready for the demise of Barry Bonds.  He deserves whatever sentence he eventually earns in court.  And March 2nd, I'll definitely be watching the trial.

Hall of Fame Personality? No. Hall of Famer? Yes.

Jeff Kent is planning to retire Thursday afternoon.  The all-time home run leader among second basemen hit seventy-four more home runs (351 as a second baseman, 377 overall) than the previous record holder, hall of famer Ryne Sandberg (282 career home runs, 277 at second base).

He was the MVP of the National League in 2000, and was a five time all-star.  Kent was the most feared hitter among second basemen once Sandberg retired, and he put together some fantastic years for San Francisco during the peak of Barry Bonds steroid induced run.

There's no question that he should get into the hall of fame one day.  After all, how could a guy that holds the record for most home runs at his predominant position not get a call to Cooperstown?  

Kent was a great hitter who hit more than twenty home runs in nine straight seasons (1997-2005).   But his surly personality and his unwillingness to back down to teammates is what he might be remembered for most.  If there's anything that keeps him out of the hall on the first few ballots, it will be his tumultuous relationship with the media.

Is it fair?  Maybe not.  Though the fact remains that the way a player is perceived by the Baseball Writers of America, those who vote for him, is immensely critical to his potential enshrinement.

Jeff Kent had his famous shouting match with Barry Bonds in the dugout, which made him look good to people that knew Bonds was a terrible clubhouse influence at times.  But it didn't help his image in the media.

Nor did his lie to media that his 2002 motorcycle crash happened because he 'fell while washing it'.  When San Francisco Chronicle writer Henry Schulman found later that he fell off his bike while doing a wheelie, when the Giants had distinctly told him and Bonds not to, he became much less friendly to the writers in which he had previously confided.

Jeff Kent was never considered one of the good guys.  And he never had enough clout to be so surly.  While former teammate Barry Bonds was smashing the single season home run record in 2001 with 73 round trippers, (granted, we now know he did that using steroids, [allegedly, ha!]) Bonds could afford to act the way he wanted around the media because at the time he wielded such immense power in the game.  Kent was softer spoken, but while he quietly racked up quality season after quality season, he never let the media in, and consequently never received any positive publicity.

Media darlings like Peyton Manning, Derek Jeter and LeBron James can do no wrong in the press.  As a result, one day their careers will be revered and celebrated, then validated by trips to the hall of fame.  In the case of Kent, he'll never have the fan fare.  He'll never have the appreciation associated with what was a great career.  Sure, he's not at the level of the three players mentioned above, but because he was never thought of as a good person, he'll never be recognized for a superb and steady seventeen year career.

So if Kent was smart, he'd smile and be cheerful in announcing his retirement.  Because if that's the last image we have of Kent as a baseball player, for his sake, it better be a positive one.