This Was Extremely Necessary

Three knee surgeries in a year and a half? Check.

Two ill-attempted comebacks already?  Check.

A team more than 40 games under .500?  Check.

Nearly a full season gone by without so much as an update as to his whereabouts?  Check.

Based on this impromptu checklist, it seems to me like Gilbert Arenas needed to come back, if only to rev up the nation's capital before they fully go to sleep when the Zimmerman Bros. come to town for the summer.

Why Agent Zero thought it would be a good idea to return to the Washington Wizards, with only nine games remaining, I can't really say with any certainty.  Maybe he figured he had a whole bunch of extra time on his hands. Maybe, and more likely, he's the most selfish player this side of Ricky Davis.  Only a player as selfish as Arenas, only a player as blinded by his own personal goals and desires would come back with so few games left in the season, and so little to play for. 

The Wizards were a playoff team, as recently as last year.  With a healthy Arenas and company in the East, they could again be a playoff team next year.  How much of an accomplishment that actually would be is being investigated by our crack team as you read this.

Either way, stupidity and arrogance are the only factors at play.  Though he came back for the final 9 games, he will only play in 7, as he's being held out of the second end of back-to-backs.  Oh yeah, that's right, he's recovering from knee surgery.  His third.  Forgot about that.

A couple of the obvious possibilities that could result from this comeback are that he could get hurt or could wind up making it worse.  But, something else to consider is that his presence could possibly sneak in a few more wins and lose a few ping pong balls for the Wizards.

I find it personally ironic that in a season for the Wizards that, basically since jump street has been all about praying for that number one draft pick, their superstar's first game back heroics were swatted away by Kwame Brown.  

Sometimes, you can't make this stuff up.

The All Don't Give A Crap Team

Thursday night, I sat on my couch, alongside my sleeping brother, watching the final quarter and overtime of the Celtics/Lakers tilt.  The game was a good one, as are so many of their match-ups.  The Lakers, despite having played (and won) the night before in Toronto, came down and wore out the Celts, sweeping the season series.

Watching the game, I couldn't help but think we'd all be better off if they'd just cancel the rest of the regular season and let the Celtics and Lakers duke it out for the championship.  Wait until Andrew Bynum gets healthy again, and then throw them into a seven game series.

I know this post isn't about that game, but I have to do two things.  First, commend Paul Pierce for his defense on Kobe Bryant.  Living in someone's shorts for the final quarter plus has to be uncomfortable, so I applaud the effort.  Second, who would think that Glen Davis would wind up, a couple of years into his career being a more valuable player than his college running mate Ty Thomas?  That's not to say Thomas won't be better, but, Big Baby?

Anyway, on to the subject of this post...

Lamar Odom might as well be one of the Hardy Boys, because he's long been one of my favorite mysteries.  Sometimes, like last night or the 03-04 season, he plays hard and the results are nearly always positive.  Often, like the Finals last year or several years on the Clippers, he fades into the background, content to do nothing other than fill out the requirement the NBA puts on each team to play with five guys at any point in a game.

And so, watching him last night, I go to thinking, in a league filled with guys that often play lethargically and minus effort, who would make the All Don't Give A Crap Team?  Read on.

C - Erick Dampier

This guy must wake up laughing.  Damp had one good season in his entire NBA career.  Check it out.  Coincidentally, that lone good season came when he was in his contract year.  I swear, it feels like in games I've seen him "play" in, he'll just pick up two quick fouls in the first quarter on purpose so he doesn't have to come back in until the third.  And, as is the case with most of these guys, what actually bothers me is that he could be a good defensive player, rebounding and blocking shots, if he actually tried all the time.

F - Lamar Odom

Doesn't often try hard, fades in out of big games (or any game for that matter), blah blah blah.  Though out of this whole group, he's easily the most talented.  Six feet ten inches, Odom can dribble with either hand, take the ball up court, drive to the basket, post up (not great, but he can do it), shoot the ball, rebound...You get the point.

F - Tim Thomas

Mr. Don't Give Crap himself, this guy pisses me off the most because he's from my home state and he could've been so much better.  Thomas has made a career, somehow, out of being a guy that has a ton of potential (never over 16 ppg). Ray Allen once said that Thomas could be the best player in the league if he wanted to be.  Don't get Jordan, or I, started on sports cliches.  No he couldn't be.  Best player in the league?  Jeez(us Shuttlesworth), take it easy.  Thomas can score from anywhere on the court (and has) but just doesn't care to play defense (see proof, stage left) or ever try hard other than jacking up long distance 3's.

G - Ricky Davis 

Here's a guy that cares, just not about the right things.  He's a selfish s.o.b. that once tried, successfully, might I add) to get himself a triple-double by shooting at his own rim to secure a 10th rebound.  No, I'm not kidding.

G - Vince Carter

I've talked about this before, but the general gist is a refrain that I'm sure you've all heard before.  Carter can one night dominate and look the part of a top 5 player in the league, and the next, you barely know he's there.  His consistently high numbers might distort the idea that he doesn't always try, but the proof is in the pudding (or, more appropriately, in the watching of him play).

Here are a few others that I didn't mention but I know would make the bench or some kind of second string (if they cared enough to try out):  Eddy Curry, Baron Davis (sometimes), Jerome James, and Kwame Brown.

There has to be others.  Who is on your favorite team that doesn't give a damn?  I know I'm missing people.  Get at us.