Exclusive: Villanueva and Shaq Not Only Twits In NBA

By now, you've definitely heard about Charlie Villanueva's little twitting adventure during halftime of a recent Milwaukee Bucks game. 

The mercurial forward snuck away for a moment, and posted a Twit, that read as the following:

In da locker room, snuck to post my twitt. We're playing the Celtics, tie ball game at da half. Coach wants more toughness. I gotta step up.

This drew a range of reaction, from Scott Skiles (who outlaws any and all forms of fun) reprimanding Charlie V, to people questioning how he even had the time, to people just not caring.  Personally, my favorite reaction came from the man himself (who goes by the moniker, @CV31).  Essentially, while he wasn't going to go against his coach's wishes, he didn't get what the difference was between taking a minute to tweet (or, is it, to twat?) or taking time at half to talk to a television reporter. Must say, I see your point Chuck.

Anywho, we here at BERNing decided it's time the rest of the Twittering world outs itself.  Thus far, we have @the_real_shaq and @CV31.  From a source who requested anonymity, we received a list of players, their Twitter names, and twits they've sent recently during practices or games.  Apparently, this epidemic is spreading faster than anyone could imagine.  Without further ado, we present some of this list.  

@the_real_jamal_crawford -- sent 9:15 pm pacific, march 25th 2009 -- coach nelson and i dont like each other.  dont tell no one but im not playing ne more this season.  (expletive) him.

@youngsuperman (dwight howard) -- sent 9:25 pm eastern, march 25th 2009 -- i got away with one there.  no way i didnt foul paul at da end.  def a foul.  wonder if svg will defend me still.

@rajonrondo (apparently, he doesn't have a nickname) -- sent 6:15 pm eastern, march 22nd 2009 -- steph has to go.  dudes gonna tattoo my name on my head in my sleep if i dont watch out.  he tried it on mikki last night, mik(e) slapped him.  

@twolvescoach (kevin mchale) -- sent 7:15 pm central, march 13th 2009 -- why is anyone still watching our games?  they cant still be charging for tickets.  can they?

@stevie_novak -- date and time unknown --  how am i still in the league?

@bdiddy#1 (baron davis) -- sent 10:15 pm eastern, march 18th 2009 -- GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!  I IMMEDIATELY REGRET MY DECISION.

@truwarrior (ron artest)  -- sent 11:15 pm central, march 24th 2009 -- tooth fell out tonite.  thought about usin it to stab kyle korver.  didnt think coach would like that.  poked abrooks with it instead.

@maskandagun (jerome james) -- sent 12:15 pm central time, march 20th 2009 -- sittin down 4 lunch.  back to da future 2 is on.  some1 has the afternoon off!

@agentzero -- sent 4:15 pm eastern time, march 4th 2009 -- the league needs me.  the nation needs me.  dc needs me.  barack obama needs me. i think im gonna dedicate my first game to him.  hed like that.

Now, legally we can't continue to reproduce any more of the Twits, as the rest seem to get a bit more graphic from here on out. They range from the sexual  (Adonal Foyle's twit about a magical vixen in a poem he's working on) to the crazy (Chris Andersen's decision to have George Karl's face tattooed over his own face) to the metaphysical (Darius Miles questioning the meaning of it all [that one's not all that bad, in retrospect]).  

If we receive any more of these wild Twits, we'll certainly update you as soon as is possible.  Stay tuned.

Because Joakim Noah Is Funny Looking...

The Chicago Bulls visited with President Obama yesterday.  Here's visual proof...

This picture begs only a few questions.

1)What in the hell is Brad Miller wearing?

2)Did Joakim Noah think Richard Nixon was still in office?

3)How did Anthony Roberson get the spot right next to Barack?

4)Why didn't Jerome James get an invite?

The All Don't Give A Crap Team

Thursday night, I sat on my couch, alongside my sleeping brother, watching the final quarter and overtime of the Celtics/Lakers tilt.  The game was a good one, as are so many of their match-ups.  The Lakers, despite having played (and won) the night before in Toronto, came down and wore out the Celts, sweeping the season series.

Watching the game, I couldn't help but think we'd all be better off if they'd just cancel the rest of the regular season and let the Celtics and Lakers duke it out for the championship.  Wait until Andrew Bynum gets healthy again, and then throw them into a seven game series.

I know this post isn't about that game, but I have to do two things.  First, commend Paul Pierce for his defense on Kobe Bryant.  Living in someone's shorts for the final quarter plus has to be uncomfortable, so I applaud the effort.  Second, who would think that Glen Davis would wind up, a couple of years into his career being a more valuable player than his college running mate Ty Thomas?  That's not to say Thomas won't be better, but, Big Baby?

Anyway, on to the subject of this post...

Lamar Odom might as well be one of the Hardy Boys, because he's long been one of my favorite mysteries.  Sometimes, like last night or the 03-04 season, he plays hard and the results are nearly always positive.  Often, like the Finals last year or several years on the Clippers, he fades into the background, content to do nothing other than fill out the requirement the NBA puts on each team to play with five guys at any point in a game.

And so, watching him last night, I go to thinking, in a league filled with guys that often play lethargically and minus effort, who would make the All Don't Give A Crap Team?  Read on.

C - Erick Dampier

This guy must wake up laughing.  Damp had one good season in his entire NBA career.  Check it out.  Coincidentally, that lone good season came when he was in his contract year.  I swear, it feels like in games I've seen him "play" in, he'll just pick up two quick fouls in the first quarter on purpose so he doesn't have to come back in until the third.  And, as is the case with most of these guys, what actually bothers me is that he could be a good defensive player, rebounding and blocking shots, if he actually tried all the time.

F - Lamar Odom

Doesn't often try hard, fades in out of big games (or any game for that matter), blah blah blah.  Though out of this whole group, he's easily the most talented.  Six feet ten inches, Odom can dribble with either hand, take the ball up court, drive to the basket, post up (not great, but he can do it), shoot the ball, rebound...You get the point.

F - Tim Thomas

Mr. Don't Give Crap himself, this guy pisses me off the most because he's from my home state and he could've been so much better.  Thomas has made a career, somehow, out of being a guy that has a ton of potential (never over 16 ppg). Ray Allen once said that Thomas could be the best player in the league if he wanted to be.  Don't get Jordan, or I, started on sports cliches.  No he couldn't be.  Best player in the league?  Jeez(us Shuttlesworth), take it easy.  Thomas can score from anywhere on the court (and has) but just doesn't care to play defense (see proof, stage left) or ever try hard other than jacking up long distance 3's.

G - Ricky Davis 

Here's a guy that cares, just not about the right things.  He's a selfish s.o.b. that once tried, successfully, might I add) to get himself a triple-double by shooting at his own rim to secure a 10th rebound.  No, I'm not kidding.

G - Vince Carter

I've talked about this before, but the general gist is a refrain that I'm sure you've all heard before.  Carter can one night dominate and look the part of a top 5 player in the league, and the next, you barely know he's there.  His consistently high numbers might distort the idea that he doesn't always try, but the proof is in the pudding (or, more appropriately, in the watching of him play).

Here are a few others that I didn't mention but I know would make the bench or some kind of second string (if they cared enough to try out):  Eddy Curry, Baron Davis (sometimes), Jerome James, and Kwame Brown.

There has to be others.  Who is on your favorite team that doesn't give a damn?  I know I'm missing people.  Get at us.